Yes, You Have Been Affected!

On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, our country was visited by evil. While the tragic events of that day have caused immeasurable direct suffering for countless families, the truth is that every one of us, every American with a beating heart was affected, indeed individually attacked. No one has been left untouched, and, as so many have commented, life as we know it will never be the same.

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You have probably heard from friends, and said yourself, a variety of words to attempt to describe the feelings in the aftermath of this horror -confusion, frustration, fear, chaos, anger, depression, emptiness. Every one of these words is correct, yet even all of them together are insufficient to describe the feelings these horrible events have caused.

We as a nation have been traumatized. You as an individual have been traumatized. Do not think that because you were not on one of the planes or in one of the buildings or because you did not have family or friends in one of those places, that you were not traumatized. American life as we know has been irretrievably altered, and you - you personally - have been irretrievably altered.

You may now be experiencing powerful physical and emotional reactions. That is not an unusual reaction. Such reactions are normal, indeed healthy. This is your body, your mind, your emotions responding to the aftershock. Physically, you may experience chills, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, or dizziness. You may experience confusion, nightmares, or poor concentration, or you may simply find it difficult to relax.

Emotionally, you may be feeling fear, guilt, grief, or nervousness. You may find yourself more irritable, more prone to anger, or having sudden emotional outbursts. Again, all of these reactions are normal.

It is imperative that you accept these symptoms as normal. You are not suffering a breakdown or going crazy. You are responding in the way that we as feeling, thinking human beings are supposed to respond in the face of events too large and horrific for normal comprehension.

The problems that can arise are not in the emotions we feel, but in the ways we choose to respond to those emotions. Many people elect to respond with denial, plunging themselves into their work or into caring for others. Some respond by increasing alcohol or drug use, using them as a place to hide. Such responses can be harmful. Such responses serve only to numb you and do not validate your very real, very normal feelings.

When responding to trauma and the feelings it generates, it is best to take care of yourself by going back to the basics. Set up a structured schedule and stick to it. Get plenty of rest. Eat well-balanced, healthy meals, even if you do not feel hungry. Stay away from alcohol and drugs, which will only numb you. Alternate exercise and relaxation, even if you feel like neither. Pamper yourself a little - take a hot bath, listen to your favorite music, read a beloved novel, allow yourself to cry. Most importantly, talk with and spend time with others. Again, we have all been traumatized so we can all provide support for one another. You may be amazed by how willing and anxious people are to discuss their own feelings and to listen to you explain yours.

Once your body, mind and emotions begin returning to a more normal state, you may still feel a void or a sense of inadequacy that you "haven't helped." If that is the case, look to your heart and to your own unique talents. Perhaps you have the time to do some volunteer work. If so, do it locally. There are many, many agencies that would be grateful for your time, your talents, your dedication, and your smile. The service you offer need not be tied to the tragedy in order for it to help you feel better. It is important to remember that despite the overwhelming attention paid to major events, such as those of September 11, our society's ongoing problems and needs still remain. Pitching in to help in any form will often pay you back with substantial benefits.

Or you may find that your emotional needs can be met with personal acts. Perhaps you are a gardener. If so, plant a tree or a bed of flowers of remembrance. You will not only be paying tribute to those lost but giving life and beauty back to America. Give blood. Though your blood may not go directly to the victims in New York and Washington, you personally will be helping to save the life of another American. Make a financial donation, if you can. Write a letter of support and thanks to those who have worked on the rescue efforts. Visit a friend or relative in a hospital or nursing home who may be feeling isolated and forgotten at a time like this. Search for your unique gift or talent, and use it to the glory of our country and to the honor of our fallen.

Do not hide from the feelings that come to all of us in the light of such terrible events. Acknowledge what you are feeling, recognize that such feelings are normal, and then take positive steps to turn such feelings and emotions into positive actions that will help you feel better and help make this a better world.

Anne M. Brainerd is a graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi and is trained in crisis response from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation.