Money Stress
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Do you manage your money or does it manage you?
Peace of mind and harmony in life depends upon a sound financial philosophy of your own choosing. Those without a strong sense of the role money will play in their life should expect conflict which may manifest at work, home or within relationships.
Begin to develop strategies for gaining control of your financial wellbeing.
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How to solve your money problems When the bills start piling up and creditors start calling, you might want to crawl under a rock until your circumstances improve. Unfortunately, ignoring the problem by leaving mail laying around unopened and letting the answering machine screen incoming calls will only make your situation worse. (Learn more...)
When budgets don't work Have you ever tried to create a budget only to find yourself feeling frustrated and out of control? Does sticking to a budget seem like something you are not capable of doing? When you add up your expenses, do they exceed your income?
Do you sometimes wonder how you have been making it all along? (Learn more...)
Peaceful Money Management for Couples
By Kathy Miller
Regardless of how much or how little people have, money is the most common cause of dissension in relationships. While each couple is unique, most arguments about financial matters start with either lack of organization or lack of communication. Both of these are behavior issues, and behavior can be changed. Following are some tips for peaceful money management:
Get Organized.
Create systems that work for both people. Choose one place for checkbooks, receipts, and other information regarding financial transactions. Use a file marked "Payables" for credit card statements, monthly mortgage, car, and insurance payment booklets, utility bills, etc, which should all be kept together until they have been paid.
Put details in writing.
Many people carry their financial information around with them in their head -- the monthly direct debit for the health club membership, the month they renew their auto insurance, the day they promised to pitch in for Aunt Martha's new sofa-bed. While the ability to remember facts and figures is impressive, all that information takes up prime real estate in your mind. Did you know Albert Einstein could not recite his telephone number from memory? He saved the space for new ideas. Getting all those details out of your head and onto paper will help you feel more peaceful while making the data more accessible to your partner.
Schedule a "Money Meeting."
Sit down with your partner regularly to discuss your finances. Arrange all information about what bills are due, how much is due, and the date each payment is due into an easy-to-read format. I recommend using the system in A Good Steward's Money Management Journal ($14.95 at www.agoodsteward.net), a calendar/workbook with simple, step-by-step instructions for organizing your finances.
Together, go over your expenses, compare your monthly income to your monthly expenses, and brainstorm solutions to problems that arise or ways to increase income. For instance, if you find your paycheck will not cover the new hockey equipment your son needs next week, you could choose to take action on selling that timeshare in Orlando or the treadmill turned coat-hanger that is collecting dust in your basement. Maybe you have medical bills you have been meaning to submit to the insurance company for reimbursement. You might decide it is a good idea to take on a part-time job or pick up an extra shift at work. The point is to think of solutions together.
No Money Mayhem.
The Money Meeting is meant to empower you. While facing the facts and figures may be disheartening or upsetting at first, remind yourselves that sometimes the problem gets bigger before it gets better. In order to prevent the session from turning into an argument, preface your meeting with an agreement about what you will do when tensions rise. Some couples choose to light candles and take deep breaths; others take a walk or drink a cold glass of water. You could consider having an objective third-party sit with you the first few times. In my coaching practice I often act as a mediator as couples learn how to communicate about their finances without arguing.
If you find yourselves in trouble get help right away. Do not make a bad situation worse by delaying action. Professional counseling and coaching services are available, and sometimes one session is all it takes to get you back on track. Learn how to make money a positive force rather than a destructive force in your relationships. If there are real problems, they will be easier to face when you face them together.
Kathy Miller is a Prosperity Coach, writer, and motivational speaker. In her home-based business, A Good Steward, Kathy works with people who are committed to organizing their finances, eliminating debt and increasing their overall prosperity. For more information or to schedule a confidential consultation, call (908) 647-1856 or visit www.agoodsteward.net.
Copyright 2002
