Learn to Reach Out and Within
Learn to find your personal solutions!!
1. Call, write and e-mail family and friends at least once a week.
Make an effort to communicate feelings, concerns and goals. Overcome the self-defeating behavior exemplified by the thoughts, "I don't want to bother them with my issues" or "they don't really care, they have their own
problems" or "it's too embarrassing to talk about". Challenge yourself to avoid procrastination and rationalization. Developing these communication skills will be necessary to alleviating loneliness. It is easier and safer not to communicate your feelings, concerns and goals. However, it is healthier to do so.
Want to reconnect with lost friends, co-workers or relatives?
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2. Research local community organizations and select one in which you are interested.
Contact that organization and volunteer! You are needed!
Try volunteering with these organizations:
Meals on Wheels
Big Brothers, Big Sisters
The United Way
3. Read authors with a positive outlook.
The reinforcement of positive thoughts, ideas and outlooks will facilitate the development of healthier self-esteem, higher levels of self-confidence and greater motivation.
4. Increase your physical activity.
Avoid self-defeating thoughts such as, "I don't have time" or "I am not athletically inclined" or "I can't afford a health club membership". Such rationalization is unacceptable. Walking briskly for thirty minutes a day costs nothing; is a small investment of time and requires no athletic ability. Walking is but one example.
5. Humor, humor, humor!
When we are lonely we tend to lose our sense of humor. As we anticipate social encounters our imaginations conjure-up dark thoughts of rejection, embarrassment and humiliation. We have all been rejected at some point in our lives, be it for a job, a school, a team, a leadership position, an organization or by a friend, family member or intimate partner. One of the common experiences shared by most highly successful people is past rejections. Successful people use past rejection as a tool to facilitate future acceptance rather than an excuse to withdraw socially. Most importantly, successful people find humor in past rejections. It is OK and healthy to do so.
6. Take personal responsibility.
When our goals are directed from within, we are leading. When our goals are directed from external events we are following. Leading is taking the offensive and being proactive. Following is reactive and taking the defensive. You will almost always score more points on offense than you will on defense.
7. Take risks!
If you only pursue opportunities for which you are guaranteed a successful outcome, you are not leading. Rejection may be a sign of many things but it is not a sign of your unworthiness! If you don't experience some rejection as you move forward than you have not aimed high enough.
8. Identify a confidant.
Challenge yourself to trust one person. Disclose your goals and your action plan to that person. Seek that individual's help in keeping you motivated to follow through with the commitments you have made to yourself. This person will be very helpful as you attempt to avoid the hazards of procrastination, rationalization and external blame. Ask them to hold your feet to the fire. Your opportunity for success will be enhanced if you engage a peer mentor who will be open and honest.
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