Loneliness: Do a Self-Inventory

The experience of prolonged loneliness is most often facilitated by certain common life experiences. The most frequent of these include times of self-doubt, environmental change and periods of transition. A self-inventory focused on these experiences is essential in developing an effective plan to overcome chronic loneliness.

Related Features Articles Loneliness: Create an action plan Facts about social phobia Overcoming a fear of speaking up Are you too shy to try? Learn to reach out and within Books Asserting Yourself In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want More book recommendations Websites NEW Student Assistance Program CampusBlues.com SchoolBlues.com StopLoneliness.com

Self:

Often people experiencing periods of loneliness report a corresponding diminished sense of self. This in-turn usually affects one's self -confidence in social situations. The following self-perceptions are commonly associated with emotional loneliness:

• A general sense of inadequacy, especially in the company of other people
• High levels of anxiety and doubt about initiating social engagements
• Lower self-esteem than is the norm for you
• A general lack of self-confidence
• A negative attitude regarding your physical attributes
• Lifestyle changes such as, decreased physical activity; changes in dietary habits and; an increase in passive activities
• A belief that people in your support network are less interested in you or have less time for you

The above items with which you identify will need to be addressed in your action plan.

Environmental Change:

At various points in our lives we experience changes in our environment. Some of these changes we may consider minor and others we may perceive as major. Both positive and negative change results in increased anxiety proportional to the magnitude of change. Environmental change may also contribute to our feelings of loneliness. Some of the more common examples of environmental change are listed below:

• Relocating to a community in which you are without your normal support network of family and friends
• Accepting a position at a new place of employment
• Leaving (voluntarily or involuntarily) a familiar place of employment
• Leaving a familiar organization, association, team or place of worship
• Diminished financial resources
• Diminished physical health

The above items with which you identify need to be considered as you develop your action plan.

Transitions:

All of us experience life transitions periodically. Transitions frequently offer opportunity for personal growth and development. However, transitions are sometimes awkward, uncomfortable or sudden. One of the by-products of certain transitions can be a sense of loneliness. The following transitions are often associated with loneliness:

• Developmental transitions i.e. adolescence to early adulthood; mid-life; aging
• College or university graduation
• Death of a loved one
• Career change

If you have recently experienced life transitions, they must be considered in your action plan.