Loneliness: Create an Action Plan

An action plan is a contract that you make with yourself that identifies those steps you agree to take in an effort to alleviate loneliness. The plan must be tailored to your individual needs and circumstances. As you consider developing your plan focus on eliminating self-defeating patterns of behavior. For example, if your thought is, "I don't have anything to offer that person", your plan should require you to focus on the qualities you do have to offer. Action plans are designed to move you from negative thinking to positive thinking; from pessimism to optimism; from passive behavior to active behavior and from a mode of following to one of leading.

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The goals and actions in your plan must be expressed in daily and weekly activities. This will result in activities that appear less daunting and fearful. It is also a good strategy to overcome procrastination. As you develop the plan think about your own biorhythms. Some people are most alert and efficient early in the day... 'the morning people' while others are far more effective late in the day... 'the night owls'. Plan your most challenging activities for that point in the day when you are most efficient and effective.

Be patient. Behavioral change, physical change, environmental change, social change and interpersonal change are all most healthfully achieved gradually. To anticipate or plan for abrupt change or instant success is another self-defeating behavior facilitated by our contemporary culture emphasizing instant gratification.

There are certain characteristics that are necessary in your action plan.

• The plan must be in writing.
• Most importantly, the plan must be challenging but realistic and doable. Designing a plan that is impossible to implement is just another self-defeating behavior. However, designing a plan that does not challenge you to address the issues you identified in your self-inventory is a sign of more passive behavior.
• The plan needs to address your physical, social and interpersonal being.
• The plan must address the needs for a positive environment.
• The plan must address the issues of concern and life experiences outlined in your self-inventory.
• Items in your plan must require you to take action!
• Action items must be measurable.
• The plan must require you to evaluate your progress daily. Three major obstacles to achieving goals must be avoided in your daily evaluation. Procrastination, "I'll get to that tomorrow"; rationalization, "It really wasn't that important" and blaming others, "My boss gave me a new assignment so I didn't have time today", are classic examples of cognitive behaviors that hinder goal achievement. Your role is to accept responsibility; analyze why you didn't meet that responsibility and adjust your behavior for more effective goal achievement. If you do this on a daily basis you will make gradual and incremental progress toward your ultimate goal.